There was another unexpected gift for me of such importance and power, that I will always treasure these 3 days at magickriver with Selina and Heiko as the moment I emerged from Murk Wood into the sunshine. I had thought I would be only releasing old hurts and old beliefs but I didn't know I was also to receive the blessing of certainty. I have spent many years on the intellectual trail for truth, a left brain search. I had neglected the trail of feelings though, in fact, I had shut down my right brain out of fear for its power. Perhaps it was a combination of having reached as far as intellect can go and then being in the resonance of Selina and Heiko's Knowing, perhaps an outcome of finally flexing both legs, but I found myself standing in the Presence of Truth. I have no doubts that Truth Is, Love Is, Life Is and there is nothing else, just our feeble attempts to escape from it in fear of its awesomeness. Selina even recommended a left brain book about the mechanism (Power vs Force by David Hawkins).

I have come away knowing Truth Is, Love Is and there ain't nothing I can do against it, thank god. I'm laughing, dancing, smiling and shouting with all my heart "Don't ever doubt or be afraid of Life. Trust it. It KNOWS!" I have always doubted, I have always been suspicious that we could cock-up and make a mess. "Have no fear" used to make no sense to me, now I feel empowered knowing there is nothing to fear.

This weekend was a huge "yes" to my small, confused self, which senses it knows but doubted this. "Trust your knowing" the All Knowing said gently in my left ear. What is love? I thought I didn't know. Now I know I know. It is everything that feels good. Love is not lights and bells, something extraordinary, it is so simple and all pervasive. The feeling of pleasure for sun on skin is love from the sun, love from my mind to my body in making sure the clothes are removed so skin can feel the pleasure, and love from the skin back again. The skin feels it and the consciousness that is aware of the feeling is completing a sublime circle from Source, through the material back to Source. Sun and skin and awareness. Just allow the connection! And that goes for all of my life. Look for the programs that are blocking allowing the circuit of mind, body and soul to connect and let the energy flow and light up.

I for one have been limiting my knowing I am loved by narrowing what I considered Love. This weekend I got my first experience of broad band Love. Love is pouring Itself out and I have sat there under my umbrella of fear wondering why no one loved me, why love was so difficult, why I was so alone.

How do Selina and Heiko work magick? When you meet them the first thing you notice is they have no umbrella of fear! You can't help but peek out from under your own to see what it feels like and it feels so goooooooood, you throw the umbrella away.

I have gone back to my problematic life with great relish! When faced with my husband's questions about the weekend, full of negative emotions coming from his fears, I found I had been inoculated from fear. Instead of his knives cutting me they bounced off my shield of Love and instead of a wound and blood, a soothing balm oozed from the point of contact. Love answered fear and fear left.

A weekend in heaven on earth? A special experience? Yes but so simple. I know that from now on my job is to spread it by being it wherever I go: unconditional, accepting love. It took Selina and Heiko to make me see that I have this already and have always had it. I had access to an abundance of it when I was born but the world I found myself programmed the hard-disc to block my knowing. I can stop worrying I don't have it, that it doesn't exist, that it might not exist, that I might be so unworthy of it that the great Source might deprive me of it.

Effusive Sooz/Sue